Chapter Two

Eva

I start awake. 

I’m lying sideways across a bed in a dark strange room, still in my day clothes. For the first time ever, I can’t smell the ocean.

Where the hell am I?

My gaze darts around the shadows as I look around for clues. An amber light pours in from a tall open window. A warm breeze drifts gently through the room, carrying the faint sounds of music and laughter from somewhere below. A car horn blares in the distance, and it finally clicks.

Huntingdon City.

I left California.

Another wave of laughter drifts up through my window, clearing the last of the cobwebs and sending me scrambling off the bed with a sleepy little squeak of alarm. 

Oh my god, the get-together! 

Shit, I’d planned to go shopping and buy something new and decidedly different from the rest of my snoozy wardrobe before I’d preemptively passed out this afternoon.

If I were a lesser woman, I’d throw a whole temper tantrum right now. I’ll be the new girl in a potato sack looking outfit. I’ll make a greeaaat first impression. 

I’m a vision of flesh tones in my brown crew neck cap sleeved sweater with a white buttoned oxford collar poking out and my ill fitted khakis. I figured out a long time ago that my mom was deliberately encouraging me to wear unflattering clothes but the need to appease always overrode my self-respect. I begrudgingly smooth the wrinkles in my shirt caused by my impromptu nap and try not to lament the lack of color

I waste five minutes losing a battle against my long swept out bangs that refuse to be pinned into submission. Don’t ask me why I bothered. There’s no use even worrying about the stupid bangs. All anyone will see are my eyes. By far, my most striking feature, they’re larger than life and green as fuck. At best, I resemble some Disney woodland creature... at worst I look like the brunette Powerpuff Girl.

At least Buttercup was the cool one.

Following the noise, I lean out my window and look down my fire escape to the group below. There’s a canopy of Edison bulb lights that zigzag from one wall to the other hanging above a low steel table that’s covered in drinks and food centered by overstuffed chairs. The trio of neighbors look like they’re having the best time and I want so much to be a part of it. 

Do I call down? 

No, that’s dumb. Should I go knock on the first floor’s door? But what if they don’t hear me knocking?

Ugh, why are my palms already clammy and I’m not even there yet? Nothing like the nervous glow of fop sweat to put your best foot forward. 

“Ah! There she is,” Nina calls from a blond guy's lap. “Eva girl, get down here and hang with us!” She throws her arm around the handsome blond and lays her head on his shoulder. 

With caution that broaches on terror, I climb from my window on to the fire escape landing, bracing myself for some kind of early demise only to find the structure is much sturdier and roomier than I expected. As I round the first landing my shoulders loosen just a bit.

No Jamie guy.

My feet hit the slate patio and I stand there fidgeting before I remember how to introduce myself and offer a shy wave. “Hel-hi...I’m Eva, from the third floor?” 

Nina is there in a flash giving me a huge hug and turning to the group. “I’m so glad you came. Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone. Yo Ry, get this girl a drink!” 

“’Sup.” The blond guy stands, offering his hand and a downright faultless smile. “So nice to finally meet Third Floor Girl. I’m Luke Carson.”

I shake his hand and then wave...super redundant, but he seems satisfied with the response so I’ll take it.

“And this tall drink of water is the Ryan Kane.” Luke swings his arm out theatrically. “Aka the mayor of Roosevelt Square.”

“Ignore him, he’s still getting housebroken.” A can of beer appears in my hand before an open palm slides into view. “I’m Ryan, nice to finally put a face to the emails.”

I shake his hand and try not to look like I have stomach cramps.

Ryan and Luke are like different sides of the same Abocrambie model coin. Luke is blond, with heather grey eyes and a wide smile that doesn’t seem to leave his face. Ryan on the other hand has this thick black hair that is just begging to be touched, it’s so shiny, and deep chocolate eyes framed by thick black lashes which make me legitimately jealous.

 But the most important quality they both possess in spades, is an instant welcoming vibe.

I can do this.

I sit at the edge of Ryan’s lounger and do my best impression of a statue as I watch the trio enjoy their youth. In no time at all, I’m on my second beer and I almost feel relaxed. They’re all laughing at Luke’s outlandish impressions of Nina as he dodges her hits during his performance. The energy is infectious and I’m just doing my best to soak it all in.

“You better do what I say or else!” Luke crows in a high-pitched voice. “I hang up my Halloween decorations the week after Memorial Day!”

“Shut up! I’m a joy and you know it!” She cackles, landing a walloping whack on his shoulder. 

“But violent.” Ryan points out with a smooth chuckle. “Why are you so damn violent?”

“Whose side are you on?” She shouts to our landlord from Luke’s lap.

“The side of truth.” 

“Oh my god.”  Her flaming hair swings about as she shakes her head. “You assholes are the worst. Right Eva?”

I start just a bit at my name but manage to cover my jolt of anxiety with a smile and sip of my sangria. “I’m team Nina.” 

“That’s right, us girls gotta stick together.” She laughs. 

“Be careful Eva,” Ryan warns. “You’ll need padding to hang out with this one.” He leans left, dodging the empty beer can that suddenly zips past his head, with a good-natured wink. “Don’t worry, we’ve got your back.”

I smile, about to respond when the faint scent of a freshly lit cigarette slips through the air.

Oh no…

A dark chill skates up my spine, sending the fine hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end, even before I look, I know exactly who the smoke is coming from. 

With a silent prayer for strength, I lift my eyes to the fourth floor. Sure enough, shadowed by the city lights, stands the silhouette of Jamie Delahunt. He’s on his fire escape, leaning forward on the rail as he takes a deep drag from his cigarette. The embers from the cherry glows like a sinister warning in his hand.

Slowly, he straightens and descends the stairs. Each step of his boot to the grate creates a rattle, catapulting my already racing bunny heart into a breakneck speed. A drop of sweat travels down the small of my back, tickling my skin and I squirm in my seat.

I got a bad feeling about this...

Jamie reaches the well-lit patio, giving me my first clear view of his front... and it knocks the damn wind right out of me. 

Lord, he’s almost painful to look at.

I struggle to fill my lungs as my eyes gobble up the man before me. That little glimpse of his profile from earlier did not do him justice. He’s beautiful, but not in a pretty way. Oh no, there’s a menace to him that both warns me off and pulls me in all at once. His eyes are a brilliant sea blue but hard. They pin me under their harsh glare as he assesses me from head to toe. 

“Hey asshole, it took you long enough to get here,” Nina barks, hopping off Luke’s lap. “I’ve got beef with you.”

To my utter horror, she stalks my way, slings an arm around my shoulders, and points an accusatory finger at my bruised cheek. Then making matters substantially worse, she proceeds to haul me towards the most gorgeous and intimidating man I’ve ever seen in my life. 

“Meet Eva, our new neighbor who you owe a big ass apology for busting her beautiful face in with the door.” 

This is my hell. 

Nothing in his impassive expression changes until that bored gaze locks on the bruise down my cheek. A phantom expression I can’t quite read pinches the corners of his eyes when he sees it but he smooths out his feature as a stream of smoke pours from his nostrils. 

He answers with a single curt chin jerk, “I’ve never seen this chick before.” 

I feel his voice more than I hear it. It’s deep and quiet with a mild rasp, but there’s so much power living inside the sound that it reminds me of thunder rumbling in the distance. Even if it’s not loud, it shakes the ground you stand on. He puts his cigarette out and dips his hands into his front pockets. Looking at me in bland expectation.

Speak, Eva!

It’s a fight to rip the knot of words through my clogged voice but still manage a deeply eloquent, “O-oh..slusodjdjsb—-shit!”

  Standard human interaction: take two.

“Um... it was, ah... obviously wasn’t de…deliberate and I really don’t think you got a good look at me? You looked like you were in a hurry? I was the one with all the luggage? I think I called out to you? But tru-ly, it’s fine? I mean—I’m sorry really. So, so, sor-ry? Anyway, my name’s Eva, nice to meet you?” I gasp out the last leg of my question mark riddled word vomit and shut my eyes, pretending to be somewhere. 

Anywhere else.

Nina, who remains my physical captor in this shit sandwich of a scenario, lets out a little huff, “Yeah, the luggage you left her to clean up on her own. I found her on the steps trying to pick it all up by herself. You broke her suitcase, you Neanderthal.” She claps her hands to emphasize the last bit, almost clipping my nose in the process. “Now put on your big boy pants and apologize.” 

“Oscar,” I mumble and instantly regret it.

“What’s that?” Nina asks, still giving Jamie the death glare.

“T-Teppaz Oscar. It’s... a... turntable. An old record player?”

“Oh, even better,” She shouts. “You busted her antique record player!”

I shake my head frantically beside her, trying my best to convey that it’s all good without having to use my words. Jamie slides his gaze back to my pleading one and his mouth sets into an annoyed flat line.

“Well, Doe Eyes over here says it’s fine.” The nickname drips of mockery.

A little overkill in my opinion, I’m already down, dickhead; no need to continue kicking. 

After one more dismissive glance down my body, he turns and sits with the guys.

“Jesus, you’re an asshole.” Ryan mutters, but drops it, handing him a beer. Jamie leans back and takes a swig; completely unaffected by our less than ideal introduction. 

Meanwhile, I am deeply the opposite.

Shit. I try like hell to swallow down everything hot and ugly crawling up my throat. Maybe I should just quit while I’m behind. I met my neighbors, three out of four of them seem lovely, and that is good enough for me. 

The tiniest spark of anger snaps in my chest as I sneak another peek at Jamie. Whether I’m mad at him or myself I’m not sure, but the idea of leaving early pisses me off. I was so damn close to having actual fun here. I almost laughed! Twice! 

My eyes slide over to my abandoned seat and my anger dies and my insides wither. The task of sitting down with him after that seems several levels above my social expertise.

“Hey,” Nina gives me a little squeeze. “You look like you want to bolt.” 

I shuffle my feet in response, still debating if it’s worth the effort to give Lord Dickhead the satisfaction of chasing me away. 

She sucks her teeth in disappointment. “Don’t let him win.”

She’s right...sort of. I push out a quiet sigh. To be fair, Jamie isn’t the one beating me down. I do a pretty solid job of that all on my own. 

The sad truth is, I’ll never move forward if I don’t find some lady balls and push the hell through. I square my shoulders trying to fake confidence I sure as shit don’t feel, and smile, “I’ll stay and finish my drink? You still need to gossip with me anyway.”

Ha! Only one question-statement. 

“Yahtzee!” She squeals grabbing my hand and bringing me back to the group where the guys are in the middle of talking about Jamie’s shift at The Underground where he apparently bar tends.

“How was the crowd tonight,” Ryan asks.

Jamie’s azure eyes meet mine for a fleeting moment, then his gaze moves on. Somehow rejecting my presence again without any expression.

“Did you play?” Luke tosses some candy in the air before catching it with his mouth.

“Nah. Rich wasn’t feeling great. Didn’t want to stick him with the whole bar. I tried getting him to leave early but you know how he is,” Jamie shrugs, scratching the side of his jaw with a hand that is covered in tattoos down to the nail beds. He snaps his inked fingers suddenly remembering something. “Heads up, Shauna quit. We need a new server.” He tilts his bottle up to take a pull from his beer. 

Everyone seems to have a reaction to the news.

“Good riddance,” Nina snickers under her breath.

Luke winces, taking his own deep drink when his eyes move to Ryan who has shot forward in his seat. “Here we go.”

“Tell me it’s not because you fucked her.” Ryan pushes the heels of his palms into his eyes and sighs before dropping them and leveling Jamie with a tired stern look. “I’m begging you, stop shitting where you eat. My staff turnover is killing me!”

“Relax man,” Luke laughs and claps Ryan on the shoulder, clearly trying to diffuse a situation. “You’ve got a pile of applications ready to go on your desk. Everyone wants in on the Ry-Ry train! Besides, you should be thanking him. She has a shit attitude and no hustle.”

“That’s the fucking truth.” Jamie agrees.

The curve of his perfect mouth scares the shit out of me.

“So, here’s the deal,” Nina leans in with a stage whisper, “Jamie is our resident hoe. He keeps running off Ryan’s female staff. And it’s becoming a problem,” she pointedly raises her voice for the last sentence. 

It isn’t until the echo, that I realize a loud snort has escaped me at the exact moment the group got quiet. The obnoxious sound seems to ricochet endlessly off the brick patio walls as Jamie’s eyes slowly cut to the side and land on me. His jaw clenches down in irritation sending a silent but emphatic warning for me to shut the fuck up.

I miss the scary smirk.

I pull my lips between my teeth to keep my laughter at bay. It’s just too easy to see Jamie sending his coworkers fleeing for the hills. I’ve spent a grand total of two minutes with the guy and I’m still not convinced it wasn’t better to run back to my apartment.

Then another thought occurs to me and a fresh giggle begins bubbling in my chest. The idea of him sleeping with his coworkers seems absolutely insane. Sure, he’s hot as hell, but he’s so intense. I can’t imagine what being physical with someone like him would do to a person. I try to hold it in, I try so hard...

Another shout of laughter busts from lips.

Why!

“Something funny over there, Doe Eyes?” Jamie’s tone is casual enough, but if looks could kill, I’d be nothing more than a lifeless husk where I sit and it effectively sucks the last of the hysterical laughter from my body. 

Obediently clamping my mouth shut, I shake my head hard enough to trigger a migraine. Then whip my attention towards Nina. I only need to survive for a few more minutes and I can fly my white flag.

Giving me an encouraging (and blessedly gentle) pinch on the arm, she dives into mindless gossip. Meanwhile, the girl effortlessly bounces back and forth between babysitting my sorry ass and whatever the guys are talking about. She drops a witty one liner here, a sarcastic brow pop there. She fits so well with everyone. Even Jamie chuckles a little at her remarks. 

I want to be Nina Walsh when I grow up.

I do my best to follow and stay engaged, but thanks to a certain tattooed turd lord (who hasn’t spared me a glance since my unintentional Joker impression) self doubt about every move or noise I make is plaguing me to the point of practical paralysis.

His stupid perfect face is like a beacon of light and my eyes are a pair of sad fucking moths, helpless against its power. Every time my gaze tugs his way I’m reminded of just how far I need to go before I’ll ever be as self-sure as Nina. 

“So, what brings you to the area, Eva?” Ryan asks with a warm smile that matches perfectly with his kind brown eyes.

It’s a pretty simple question that shouldn’t be an issue to answer. But as everyone collectively turns their head towards me, I feel the color drain from my face and a cold sweat spread across my neck.

My mouth opens but nothing comes out. The truth and my pride go to war in my head as I make one failed attempt after another to speak against the weight of panic in my chest.

  I push my vocal cords to work but all I can manage are a series of noises; none of which belong to any known language.

“For fucks sake, spit it out.” Jamie’s rumbling thunder voice commands with a disinterested groan.

I flinch from shame before I raise my eyes to meet his. His glare is impenetrable as he lounges back in a show of complete indifference. 

That tiny spark of anger from earlier rekindles, only this time I know exactly where to direct it. I may not be woman enough to tell him to fuck off yet but I can do better than nothing.

“Ignore him,” Nina whispers but it’s far too late for that. Jamie’s eyes are still boring holes into my face daring me to answer, while the anger burning in my chest demands I speak clearly and firmly. 

If only my total lack of courage couldn’t sabotage the shit out of my execution.

“C-Confidence?” I stutter out the truth.

“Is that a question?” 

“Piss off Jamie,” Nina leans forward and chucks an empty beer can at him. “Leave her alone!”

“Jesus, Calm your damn tits Neen—" 

“Watch it.” Luke is still smiling but now it’s sharp. 

Jamie rolls his eyes and pops another cigarette in his mouth. “Will you two fuck it out already? I’m tired of dealing with this bullshit.” 

“Okay everyone, calm down—” Ryan begins but Nina is already reaching for another can. A full one this time.

“Ex-CUSE me asshole?” She shouts and beams it at Jamie’s head.

Do something!

Before I can second guess myself, I jump up, slamming my shins painfully on the hard edge of the steel table as I rise. At least the abrupt rattle creates enough of a distraction to pause the burgeoning brawl.

“I don’t really like myself!” I blurt, pulling a helpless hand to my forehead as I navigate where the hell to go from here. “I...um...I’m not...good at...” I wave my hands about maniacally. “This. So—so, I came here to, um...to work on being more c-confident.”

If a pin was to drop right now, it would carry the weight of a sonic boom.

I avoid everyone’s eyes, knowing there’s varying levels of pity in each pair looking back. “So, uh...yeah. That’s why I moved here. Um...Thanks for having me but I should— ya know--bye!” With that I bolt up the fire escape, ignoring the searing pain in my shins refusing to look back.

Why in the fresh hell, did I just tell them all the truth?